Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Failure is our most Important Product

Failure, for me, has served as the impetus for reflection and innovation in life and in business. Failure serves as a springboard to innovation when it is perceived or framed as an opportunity to make change and create progress. Johnson and Johnson has had many failed ventures that have resulted from J & J "placing bets on many potential opportunities -- most opportunities possibly fail, but the ones that do succeed, they succeed big" and these failures "are an essential price to pay for successful innovation and long-term growth" (Johnson & Johnson, 2006). Mr. Johnson himself is quoted, "failure is our most important product".
Johnson & Johnson (2006). Creativity and innovation driving business. Retrieved October 3, 2008 from

Everyone can be Successful

People are who they are based on genetics and environment. While we may not be able to change our genetics, we can change our environment and our thinking. I feel that people who have resigned to failure have just given up on themselves, they have a lack of self-confidence that can be restored if they are able to get into an environment of others that truly care and can encourage them to "keep trying" and "try again" and to get them to believe in themselves again and given opportunities where they can have success so they can restore the "damage". Success is built upon failure and nobody knows how many failures it takes to reach success but if they don't give up, they WILL reach success eventually, the key is to never give up and to never lose your enthusiasm. I read a really great article that lists 7 steps to overcome failure (and these are priceless!!): 1) rise up and don't regret; you have spent your time wisely; 2) understand that failure is there to bring you wisdom; 3) learn as much as possible from the failure; 4) don't give up; maybe you are only one step away from success; 5) maintain your enthusiasm; 6) keep dreaming big dreams; and 7) keep your confidence in yourself (Latumahina, 2007).
Latumahina, D. (2007). 7 Powerful Tips to Overcome Failure. Retrieved October 3, 2008 from

Saturday, October 4, 2008

The Forgotten

The Forgotten: For Scribbit's Write Away Contest, the topic: Ghosts

I was out walking as I did every evening and if I was tired I took a short-cut home through the woods. I lived in a rural area so when darkness falls, is falls quickly and hard. Everything is covered with a blanket of darkness, and you can only see the stars and the moon. One night when taking my short-cut I noticed a big dark structure through a patch of trees heavily draped in moss. I only had a small bit of light left in the sky illuminating my way home so I didn’t want to explore the abandoned house tonight. I would come back tomorrow when I had plenty of light.

I thought of the old house all night wondering why I had never seen it before and who may have lived there, why it was left to dilapidate into the ground. Funny how buildings seem to just fall apart when humanity has left; nobody running in and out the doors, no windows opening and closing, no breeze flowing through, no chatter among the walls, no electricity crawling through the wires.

The next day came and I was anxious to go back and discover what lay in the woods. I set out my front door and down my short-cut path to explore the old house. I walked back to the very spot on the path where I could look back through the patch of trees with the moss dripping from the limbs and I did not see a structure, no house, no building, nothing. I was puzzled, flabbergasted, and speechless. I spun around looking in all directions to see if I was in the wrong spot. I began to run up and down the path going back and forth looking everywhere and saw nothing. The morning was stretching into lunch time and I was hungry and returned home. I thought to myself, well, I’ll get some lunch, go into town to run some errands and go out on my walk tonight to see if I see things differently.

While in town I ran into an old man that might just be our oldest inhabitant. He has seen the growth and changes of our town and everyone in it over his eighty years of life. I asked him if he knew of an old house in the woods out past the edge of town and down the dirt road where I lived. He said that he did remember there used to be a house there when he was a child but that it was torn down about twenty years ago or so because the word was that it was haunted and nobody wanted to buy the place.

This new information really sent chills down my spine and made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The old man didn’t ask me why I was asking about this old structure but gave me a sly grin that just added to my uneasiness.

When I went back home that afternoon I made a plan to return to the spot in the woods where I saw the house. I waited until dusk and I gathered up a flashlight, a camera, and leashed up my dog. We took the short-cut path to the patch of trees and the moss now looked spooky blowing in the wind, the daylight dwindled down and I started to take some photographs. My dog started to whimper. I tried to speak to him calmly but there was a quiver in my voice and I had a sick feeling come over me. There were noises coming from where the structure had been and it was now pitch dark. I clumsily snapped shot after shot after shot. The noises grew louder as if they were getting closer. I shone my flashlight out into the woods and the structure I had seen the night before loomed there before my eyes. I was frozen with fear. As I flashed my light back and forth I could see the porch, the door, the windows and ghostly apparitions glowing from inside the house. The noises seemed to shrill and scream and I dropped my flashlight, pulled my dog and ran the race of my life back out of the woods and toward my home. My heart was beating so fast I could feel it thumping inside my head, deafening my ears. I got back to my door and began to flip on every light in my house as if that was going to somehow calm me down and keep the spirits from following me home and entering my house. I didn’t sleep all night.

The next morning, I was exhausted and anxious। I drove into town to have my film developed. I was absolutely terrified about what might turn up in the photographs. I waited in agony as the camera shop carefully developed my film. When they were done the clerk had a funny look on his face and asked exactly what I had been photographing. I asked why and could I see the photos. He said that nothing really turned out; they seemed to be overexposed quite a bit but each photo had the same word scrawled across the grayish photo as if scratched by a fingernail. The word on each photo simply read “forgotten”.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Overcoming Failure in Life

My opinion from observation and experience, no matter the population, is that people are who they are based on genetics and environment. While we may not be able to change our genetics, we can change our environment and our thinking. I feel that people who have resigned to failure have just given up on themselves, they have a lack of self-confidence that can be restored if they are able to get into an environment of others that truly care and can encourage them to "keep trying" and "try again" and to get them to believe in themselves again and given opportunities where they can have success so they can restore the "damage". Success is built upon failure and nobody knows how many failures it takes to reach success but if they don't give up, they WILL reach success eventually, the key is to never give up and to never lose your enthusiasm. I read a really great article that lists 7 steps to overcome failure (and these are priceless!!): 1) rise up and don't regret; you have spent your time wisely; 2) understand that failure is there to bring you wisdom; 3) learn as much as possible from the failure; 4) don't give up; maybe you are only one step away from success; 5) maintain your enthusiasm; 6) keep dreaming big dreams; and 7) keep your confidence in yourself (Latumahina, 2007).


Latumahina, D. (2007). 7 Powerful Tips to Overcome Failure. Retrieved October 3, 2008 from

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Relationships are What Life is All About

In my life I have been blessed to have and to have not....What I have learned is that there is no set recipe for satisfaction in life, happiness cannot be bought, love cannot be purchased.....driving a Range Rover, wearing a Rolex watch, living in a ten thousand square foot home, and having a million in the bank will not bring you peace, wisdom, or bliss....The truth is.....that relationships are what life is all about....cultivating, maintaining, and growing your relationships with family, loved ones, and reaching out beyond your circle to others is truly where happiness and life are and what life is all about....I have less now than I have had in my life prior and I am happier, wiser, and have more peace....Would I like to have more....sure....does my happiness depend upon it? Absolutely NOT.....When we seek to love first, it becomes the most fulfilling to our spirit, mind, and body....The Bible says "seek ye first the kingdom of God"....."and all these things will be added unto you".....That is good enough for me....I don't want to live my life seeking everything under the sun only to feel exhausted and empty at the other end of this journey....I want to enjoy every moment, live in the present, and maintain flexibility to roll with whatever comes through the doors of my life...I want to enjoy God, my children, family, and friends and allow the love and joy of these relationships to sustain me through the mountain tops and valleys of life....Don't allow your circumstances to get you down, don't become muddled in the rut of status quo.....reach out, change your routine, smile at strangers, love your family, think positive thoughts, be thankful for what you DO have and do not focus on what you don't is wonderful! Don't let your own pass you by!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Colors of Life: God's Painting - For Scribbit's Write Away Contest

Morning’s magical transformation; the blaze of fire waxes fiercely into a perfect sphere of blinding light; sparkling crystal sands, azure-blue ocean, and the golden fiery sun. God’s canvas is painted so masterfully. He has created nature’s eye candy that changes with the open and close of each day. Mighty winds curl into gentle breezes and glide through the open sails of tiny boats in the distance, dotting the horizon and sitting atop cresting waves. The strange salty smells fill my nostrils. Dark green clumps of seaweed lie up and down the beach. A single pelican floats on what seems to be an invisible line above the ocean, suddenly, spiraling downward crashing into the water for fish or just cool pleasure. Puffy white pillowy clouds hang lazily in the sky making abstract formations against a backdrop of powder blue. The sound of the ocean is hypnotic in its auditory sense, the constant whir of the waves rolling into shore making beige frothy foam. I can hear the conversations of the black and white gulls in the distance. They chatter and laugh entertaining themselves, gossiping about their daily routines, how many fish they caught and how many got away. Long legged birds wearing tight black stockings stalk through the shallow waters with their bright orange beaks picking through the grains of sand for edible treasures. Millions of periwinkles bury themselves again and again in their life-long arduous task. The tear drop shaped shells painted so vibrantly with royal purple, scarlet red, sunny orange and yellow, like bright little rainbows in the wet sand. Colorful crabs scurry back and forth across the sandy expanse. Bright white mountains are the dunes on the beach peppered with tender green sea oats swaying gently in the breeze. Standing in forceful juxtaposition is the deep red brick lighthouse trimmed around top with a black wrought iron walk and cap-like dome; sternly built with purpose climbing into the blue and white swirled sky. From the top of the lighthouse one can see the entire island peninsula. The water sparkles in the sun like diamonds in all directions and the housetops look like small squares amidst a menagerie of bursting, frenzied color. Even when the sun dips behind the clouds and a hazy gray covers the canvas of color, the beautifully colored kites take center stage, swirling and diving, twisting and turning, cutting through the breeze like a hot knife in cool butter.The burnt orange sun finishes the day with a sunset of glorious proportion, covering the once blue ocean in a glaze of gold. It sinks slowly into a hazy pink horizon tinted delicately with hints of violet and baby blue. The water ripples gently across the river catching the reflected colors of the slowly dimming ball of fire slipping into the sky. Evening glides in slowly showing her twinkling glittery lights. Far in the southeast corner of our evening cover appears the glowing pearly moon. Over on the beach the water is peaceful with small waves caressing the sandy shore. Tiny fish break the surface of the glassy still waters in the distance as they jump out of the ocean and into the cool evening air. Their skins catch the moonlight making them shimmer and shine.

Full moon, starry night, through the sky they drip and shed their glowing light. To the corners of the earth from whence the darkness gave birth, casting shadows on earth’s floor, through depths of ocean and miles of shore. The crickets chirp, the frogs sing and a gentle breeze makes the wind chimes ring. Slowly, silently the night is still, its beauty and mysticism are at planetary will. Colors!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

See it in Your Mind's Eye; See it with Your Natural Eye

Dreams are born out of our imagination, out of our desires, sometimes out of need...When we dream in life it keeps our hopes alive, it fuels our energy stores and feeds our positive thought process...Out of our dreams, our goals in life are birthed, the things we want to materialize and manifest...It is vital to begin to make a goals list and put this on paper to see it every day, post the goal list on the fridge or on your mirror, somewhere where you are able to reflect on it daily....Once our dreams become goals and they have made it to our goal list, we begin to think and dwell on these things, we begin to see them come to fruition in our mind's eye....Once we begin to see these dreams and goals become a reality in our mind's eye, they are able to manifest, it is as if we are creating a doorway between the imagination and our reality, and we then see them with our natural eyes....Nothing will come to pass in our lives if we do not literally "make it happen"....We make things happen by creating lists, reflecting and dwelling mentally upon these lists, seeing these accomplishments and material items in our mind's eye and then they are able to come through to us in our natural lives....Always remain in a state of thankfulness and gratitude, even for the struggles in life, where we learn important lessons about life and about ourselves...And in our positive attitudes we are able to remain clear about our decisions, about our direction, and about the things we want more of in our lives...Never leave God and talking to God out of the equation of your life....He is the most important factor in maintaining peace and focus in life....Allow Him to fine tune your focus and your direction....We are not able to have this happen when we focus on the negative, complain, are unthankful or ungrateful in life; God will not supercede our will....He does want the best for us but we must take part in working to create the best for ourselves as well....Clear your mental slate, make a list of all the things that we have to be thankful for....dream a little, make a list of your dreams, reflect on these and from this list start your goals list.....Begin to think and dwell thoughtfully on your goals....Strategize simple steps to accomplish these goals....See these goals coming to fruition in your mind's eye and the doorway will be created to usher these goals into your reality!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

It is Always Darkest Before the Dawn

Just like a tree that bears fruit needs to be pruned back so that the fruit will be sweet, juicy, healthy, and abundant, we also in life experience events and circumstances that leave us feeling as though we have been pruned....Our lives sometimes feel like a pruned tree that looks lifeless, leafless, and almost dead...It is in these times that we need to be fertilized and given time to gather our energy for a re-birth or a transformation...Patience with ourselves is extremely important, we can't live life in warp speed and always expect warp speed results....Just like gourmet cooking and fine wine take time to achieve delectable results, we many times experience what feels like a dead zone in life when we might not realize that this dead zone or depression or financial drought or however our hurdle presents itself, this time is in reality a time when we are being tested, to see if the wonderful, glorious, prosperous, joyful times in life are going to keep coming.....If we give up in this testing time when things seem dark then we never experience the beautiful dawn when the sun cracks the sky, colored hues streaking across, and the sweetness of life comes shining through our windows! Don't give up when your bliss is just around the corner! Remain thankful, grateful, positive, and hopeful......Have faith that God won't let you down now!!! or ever! It is sad when we lose faith and more difficult to get back on the right path, but it can be done!!! All things are possible, they might just take more work! It is always darkest before the dawn, but when your dawn breaks, it is just like new life has filled every corner of your being and nothing can hold you back from jumping with both feet into the glorious sun of you new day!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Flexibility is the Key to Sanity

I continue to learn that less flexibility in life equals more stress and frustration...Whereas more flexibility equals more peace, happiness, and sanity....Whether in our personal or professional lives we need to increase the amount of flexibility we incorporate into our plans...I believe that almost nothing in life goes as planned and almost everything has unexpected glitches or hangups that come up out of the blue which increase our chances and our levels of stress in our lives unless we are able to be flexible and have the ability to change our strategies to overcome surprising obstacles and/or go with the flow.....not allowing the unexpected things in life to rock our boat and sink our ship....Even though smooth sailing is almost unheard of we can choose to steer our ship away from turbulent waters and dangerous weather if we are able to monitor our internal compass and change our course when necessary creating more flexibility in our lives...I continue to work towards having more flexibility in my life and to monitor my internal compass to keep my ship sailing as smoothly as possible!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

First Kiss for Scribbit's Write Away Contest

The year was 1981 when roller rinks were fun and the mirrored disco ball hung from the center of the ceiling। The floor was glossy blue; a mini block wall enclosed the rink and old dark Berber carpet stretched around the edges. The snack bar was filled with hot dogs and jelly doughnuts and mixing up a suicide soda was “the” drink. The girls all hung in groups giggling and pointing at the boys and if you could skate backwards it was pretty impressive. I was not impressive. I was thirteen, with braces, fly-backs, and wore Jordache jeans that were probably way to tight. With my skates on I felt so cool, so tall, and skated so fast to songs like “Play that funky music white boy” and just hoped that I never fell crossing over in the corners. When the lights dimmed, couples would skate to the likes of “Reunited”, the spotlight on the disco ball, and mirrored reflections would go spinning across the walls and the floor; raging hormones racing faster than the fastest skater in the building. The cover of dark created ample opportunity for couples to make out and many first kisses were born at the roller rink. At the end of the night, I was carrying my skates back to the rental room, (I was not cool enough to have my own tricked out skates), and my little boyfriend following behind me. We were the only two in room. He quickly planted his lips on mine and there in the skating rink rental room was my very first kiss, and it was not an American kiss. There were no fireworks to mention, just shock and surprise. I felt flushed with a hormonal rush of nervousness and excitement not believing it was happening, and then just as quick, it was over. I don’t remember the boys name or what he looked like, I only remember that it was my very first kiss and it was a strange experience that was my initiation into the world of kissing, boys, and roller rink romance.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Luxury and the Art of Living

Luxury from the latin word luxus which means abundant...Art can mean many things but among the meanings are the idea and production of beauty, creation, grandeur, and wonder....And living is having life, existence, experience, and time....
Abraham Maslow determined that self-actualization is the highest point to which people be mentally and psychologically healthy and able to experience life to the fullest without hesitation and hang-ups....and that we as human beings have an internal, natural, drive to become the best possible people that we can be.....

EIGHT WAYS TO SELF ACTUALIZE (cite reference below)
Experience things fully, vividly, selflessly. Throw yourself into the experiencing of something: concentrate on it fully, let it totally absorb you.
Life is an ongoing process of choosing between safety (out of fear and need for defense) and risk (for the sake of progress and growth): Make the growth choice a dozen times a day.
Let the self emerge. Try to shut out the external clues as to what you should think, feel, say, and so on, and let your experience enable you to say what you truly feel.
When in doubt, be honest. If you look into yourself and are honest, you will also take responsibility. Taking responsibility is self-actualizing.
Listen to your own tastes. Be prepared to be unpopular.
Use your intelligence, work to do well the things you want to do, no matter how insignificant they seem to be.
Make peak experiencing more likely: get rid of illusions and false notions. Learn what you are good at and what your potentialities are not.
Find out who you are, what you are, what you like and don't like, what is good and what is bad for you, where you are going, what your mission is। Opening yourself up to yourself in this way means identifying defenses--and then finding the courage to give them up.

Please take time to explore the above site as it contains a wealth of wonderful information that leads us to ponder the quality of our lives and I would like to continue to evolve in my mental and psychological life to extinguish neurosis, hang-ups, and negativity that keeps me from my own luxury and artful living! Staying positive, one thought at a time!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

You Get Out What You Put In

Like your bank account, your balance only reflects what you have deposited.....You cannot deposit ten dollars and expect to withdraw ten thousand....Likewise, you can't plant corn and expect to grow beans...In life, relationships, education, jobs, etc...we get out of these only what we are willing to sacrifice, deposit, and put into it....I personally want to get the very most out of everything I do and so I strive to put forth my very best efforts and I then can expect positive results....This is of course is still no guarantee that everything will come up roses...but we have a much greater chance for success in all that we do when we put forth our best efforts and there is satisfaction in knowing that I have done my best instead of leaving things in my life to chance....Every beautiful garden in life requires work at every stage...we must clear and prepare the ground, enrich the soil, plant the seeds, fertilize and water, and once we have results we must still continue the work of maintenance in weeding the garden and continue to fertilize and water to keep the beauty coming....I want beauty to continue to grow in my life and I am willing to do the work to get the most out of it!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Mental Diet

Just as we curb our food intake and exercise our body for better performance and health reasons, we should also exercise our minds and curb our thoughts and thought patterns to eliminate negative, taxing activity that has no benefit for us and only serves to deplete our energy stores and create stress....The mental diet is the way to go! Start by writing down all the positive messages that you would love to hear from others or that you might want to say to yourself and place them in view, tape them to your mirror or magnet them to your fridge....Look at these messages everyday, several times a day and read them aloud to yourself...Your brain believes what you tell it and when you are feeding yourself positive, healthy thoughts and words, your mind and body begin to react to this in a very positive manner....Just as your physical body reacts to good nutrition and exercise, your mind will do the same with nutritious words and thoughts! You have nothing to lose (except the negativity and the stress it creates) and EVERYTHING TO GAIN!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Reduce Your Expectations, Reduce Your Stress

We should only have expectations for ourselves, and perhaps for our children...But when we put expectations on others I believe that we are only setting ourselves up for disappointment, possible heartache, and stress! Life is so much smoother when we truly "go with the flow", otherwise, when we place expectations on others of productivity, timeframes, events, places etc...we are putting pressure on them to perform to our expectations....there is not anything wrong with having expectations on others it just in our reaction when they are not able to meet our expectations....I continue to learn over time that I can only expect of myself and that I have less stress when I do not thrust my expectations off on others....I get along with them much more harmoniously, I do not create tension for myself or with them and I can just relax and let everything come as it comes, surprises and all....this is difficult to let go and just flow but let me tell you it is so much nicer to let people just be themselves and to be able to enjoy others and our environments without the added stress of unrealistic expectations!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Never Burn Your Bridges

We spend our lives building pathways and bridges linking people and places throughout our journey...During our travels we are always working to propel ourselves forward, to progress, succeed, to learn and to grow.....but life, never predictable and always peppered with mishaps, disappointments, and failures, we sometimes re-visit our past and re-trace our steps due to these less than fortunate events that cause us to go backwards in our lives and perhaps back down the ladder which we have climbed and we sometimes need to go across some of those old "bridges" which we have built be it in friendships, contacts, or familiar places...We never know when we will be in need of something, anything that will be helpful to us, maybe not today...but, be wise in your choices and wise in your words...never speak unkindly to or about anyone because it may come back to haunt you when you least expect it....and you never know when you may need your bridges to carry you back to safety in your life so make sure you never burn them down...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Letting It All Roll Off

If I spent my time "emotionalizing" about everything that could potentially sap my time and energy I would literally have nothing left for myself or for my family....Every frustration, big or small, gives us the opportunity to either go down the tubes with it or to stand above it and let it go and not allow it to take you with it....This morning I have already had the opportunity to get lost emotionally in something that is truly out of my control and so I stop and think to myself...what can I learn about myself from this situation....or just what can I learn period...Everything that happens in life is a potential learning experience and I want to progress and not regress....I don't want to waste my time worrying about other people, timeframes, money, or whatever it may be that pops up and creates "an opportunity" for us to grow, change, and progress in our lives...I have control only over my responses and only over my expectations....I don't have control over other people, nor do I want that responsibility or that burden....I don't want to set myself up for disappointment so I adjust my expectations to only include expectations for myself and to do my best to respond to stressful situations with grace, peace, and wisdom.....I then do a blessings count to restore a modicum of peace and joy to my core and work from that because if we truly ask ourselves about any situation......what is this going to mean in a hundred years....or even it worth losing our peace over? Probably not! So I am going to move through this and stay focused on what is truly important to me, smile, and think positively.....I want to learn and grow in life and do it with grace and joy!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Blessings in Life

This link is "visual therapy" coupled with words of wisdom....please enjoy and be blessed!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Feeling Overwhelmed and Letting Go

I am reminded by myself that I frequently bite off more than I can chew and end up doing a little choking on my own self-inflicted schedule...We recently moved into a new house, so setting up house again the unpacking, the re-organizing, etc....both children home, my littlest is turning two in just a few weeks and my oldest is home for the summer between kindergarden and first grade....I just started my PhD program today....I really need a new computer as I have called the University tech support line three times since last night and the juggling of it all has been a little overwhelming today! I am reminding myself that I do love the crazy of it all and I have difficulty sitting still for anything but re-adjusting to a new environment and a new schedule with cooking, cleaning, dirty diapers, reading, writing, assignments again, working.....Calgon! take me away!!! Inhale.....Exhale.....Serenity NOW! I know that tomorrow will be a new day and I will clean my mental slate, take each moment as it comes and remain calm, thankful, and joyous! I made it through today and I will make it through tomorrow with a better attitude....Attitude is ninety %, and everything else can be conquered with a positive attitude....So I am taking inventory of all that I have to be thankful and grateful for and smiling....I am taking a deep breath and relaxing.....I am picturing a successful and relaxing evening and riding that on into tomorrow....I am letting go....Positive thoughts all around :-)

Friday, June 27, 2008

Giving is the Best Gift: A Servant's Heart

When we do for others and give of ourselves it is rewarding for both parties...Having the heart of a servant is a beautiful gift to share....When we become consumed in our own lives and forget that we share our world with so many that are in need whether it be within our own family or reaching out beyond our boundaries it is important to share what we have whether it be time, money or gifts....Cooking a meal for others, sharing your home and your hospitality with another family or with friends is an important and enriching part of our lives that we should not neglect...and when we give our time and efforts to others it plants a seed to come back to us when we are in is the beautiful cycle of life! Smile, think positive thoughts, share your talents and gifts with others, open your heart to love and be a servant to someone in need!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Don't Live in Chains When You Hold the Key to Set Yourself Free

I think that many times we imprison ourselves due to our own thoughts or perceptions about things that have happened to us or because we are punishing ourselves due to poor choices that we have made....Why should we live a life of guilt and/or suffering? Is something good going to come out of this punishing behavior? Some freedom or revelation or epiphany? I will answer this with a resounding NO.....There is no reason that any human being should live their life in bondage of any kind and many times this bondage is self-imposed....Whether we are beating ourselves down for poor choices or because we have been deceived into faulty thinking that we are not deserving due to others mistreating us, let me urge you to set yourself free!!!! We need not live under the roof of someone else's mental constructs that create condemnation and boundaries to where we can go and what we can think.....Cut the chains whether you have put them on yourself or whether you have allowed someone else to create a cage for you, life is meant to be lived with joy in our hearts and minds, having hopes and dreams to look forward to and work towards....You hold the key to your own freedom, it begins in your own mind and with the thoughts that you think positive thoughts, don't punish yourself, let go of the past and start walking into your new future....start over from this moment....surround yourself with love and support and love and support yourself :-) Wishing you hope, love, joy and freedom!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Don't Look Back!

In order to continue our forward progression in life creating growth and success through positive thoughts and positive actions we must ensure that we are always looking forward and not looking back! When we drive we must look forward to drive to reach our destination, we never "arrive" anywhere looking backward in reverse....Revisiting old pain, old frustrations and wishing we had done things differently in the past will not take us anywhere, we will just stagnate right where we are, growing roots fixing us in one location unable to break free and move forward in life.....So we need to cut the roots that tie us to our past, work through the pain and frustration if that is what needs to be done in order to set us free so that we can begin to grow and move in a forward and upright position so that we can experience life in the present and enjoy what we have now, not grieving over what was or what should have been or how terrible people or circumstances were to us, don't live life as a victim of your past, become a victor in your present.....Love yourself and give yourself permission to be set free from your past, stop looking back because you will surely wreck your present if you are not looking forward to see where you are going! Live in freedom, with joy and a positive purpose....look forward and embrace the good things coming into your life, let go of your past and don't look back! Smile and think positive thoughts!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Living the Good Life: Food for Thought

The following food for thought gives us reminders about how important our thoughts are and how they are instrumental in bringing about success and the good life for us: please enjoy! References follow each section...
Creating SuccessHow To Be A Magnet To Success
In this issue I'm going to talk a little bit about creating success and how your own thoughts create an energy - which either attracts success or attracts failure. Most people aren't even aware that their thoughts are energy, and very few are aware of how they're own thoughts can create the failure they have in life when the really want success.
Whether you send out an energy that attracts success or failure really depends on the kind of thoughts that you have. Those who focus their attention on the good qualities that they have and take time to relish in their achievements, no matter how small they are - will inevitably attract success to them. They'll send out a positive success energy that in turn will attract more and more success.
One fact is clear - in life we will fail more often than we succeed। But those who continue to enjoy success - never give up and they always focus on their success - no matter how small that success is - they focus on it. And in so doing they don't look at the failures - thus creating a positive energy for them.
"I never saw a pessimistic general win a battle." – Guiseppe Borghese
"The world is like a mirror; frown at it, and it frowns at you. Smile and it smiles, too." – Herbert Samuels
"There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them." – Clare Boothe Luce

A Positive Mental Attitude is indispensable to your success. You can be as positive as you want to be if you will simply think about the future, focus on the solution and look for the good. If you do what other successful people do, if you use your mind to exert mental control over the situation, you will be positive and cheerful most of the time. And you will reap the benefits enjoyed by all successful people.2
Become A Positive Person
To empower and motivate your employees, customers, your suppliers, your bankers and so on, you simply need to be a genuine, positive and cheerful person। You develop a positive mental attitude. You be the kind of person from whom, “never is heard a discouraging word.” You are easygoing, genial, friendly, patient, tolerant and open minded. You make people feel comfortable being around you.

Creating Inevitable Success: 5 Steps

Set your brain on the path toward achieving your goal so that it's working on it all day long – traveling the actual path will then become much easier... More
Choose To Be Happy
The only source of happiness – and unhappiness – comes from inside yourself.
Happiness is not something that comes to you. It is something you create now, today. Waiting for something to change in order to be happy is waiting to live your life. It is not what happens to you that counts. It is how you react to what happens to you. It is your attitude. When you adopt a positive attitude, life becomes a rewarding adventure instead of something to get through... More
Happiness Quotes
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." – Nathaniel Hawthorne... More
Positive Emotions Are the Key To Life
Positive emotional energy is the key to health, happiness and wellbeing. The more positive you are, the better your life will be in every area... More
A Leader's Mood: The Dimmer Switch of Performance
Take a hard look at your behavior in meetings, which are often "cauldrons of emotion." Do you model the way by setting a positive tone right from the start? Or do you impose your own "pace" based on how you feel at the moment? Aim for a calm, relaxed mood and a consistent, positive approach... More
Don't Focus on the Problem, Focus on Solution
You can become a positive thinker simply by focusing on solutions, not the problems।
Just remind yourself that "there are no problems – only opportunities."
Optimistic Thinking
Changing your perspective is the key to finding success in seeming failure. "Optimistic thinking has sometimes gotten a bad rap as being unrealistic, but research has found that we can indeed live happier, healthier, and more successful lives if we can learn to discover opportunities in problems."3 Due to optimistic positive thinking, problems will become merely challenging opportunities that you can turn to your advantage. They provide opportunities for personal growth and can stimulate your creativity for finding better ways to live.

Can you become more optimistic? Can you simply “choose” to think more positively? Yes, you can. The simplest way is to empty your mind, clear it of all fears and anxieties while replacing them with positive thoughts. Declare independence from negative thinking.7 Surround yourself with optimistic people because optimism is contagious. So is pessimism. Studies find that people who live with depressed people tend to become depressed themselves. Surrounding yourself with optimistic, supportive people will help you turn occasional optimistic thoughts into a habitual way of thinking.
Another powerful tool for optimism is "2P & 3P thinking."6 When good things happen to you, and when you accomplish your goals, try to understand why those events occurred in Personal, Permanent and Pervasive terms. If you manage a successful project at work, take credit for that success. Attributing it to your intelligence, for example, offers an explanation that is personal (you are intelligent), permanent (you’ll always be intelligent) and pervasive (your intelligence will help on other projects as well).
Living a Healthy and Successful Life
Researchers of two American Universities found that a positive thinking and attitude improved a persons health because it made it more likely that they would succeed in life.4 So not only will a positive attitude help you be healthy and live longer – but it also increases the likelihood that you will succeed.

Lead researcher Dr. Glenn Ostir explained it this way: "I believe that there is a connection between mind and body – and that our thoughts and attitudes/emotions affect physical functioning, and over all health, whether through direct mechanisms, such as immune function, or indirect mechanisms, such as social support networks." ... More
The Law of Expectations
Whatever you expect with confidence, positive or negative, becomes your reality. If you confidently expect to succeed, if you confidently expect to learn something from every experience, if you confidently expect to become wealthy as a result of applying your talents and abilities to your opportunities and you maintain that attitude of confident expectations long enough, it will become your reality. It will give you a positive optimistic cheerful attitude that will cause people to want to help you, and will cause things to happen the way you want them to happen... More

Monday, June 16, 2008

Living in the Moment Everyday

We can become so distracted in life by our circumstances, by people, opportunities to become frustrated due to our circumstances or people whether it be friends, family or co-workers, neighbors or strangers....I need to remind myself that I am in charge of how I react to my external world and the people in it.....I truly want to enjoy my life to the fullest extent and in order to do this I believe that it is imperative to live in the moment everyday! By living in the moment we can allow the past to stay in the past and the future to take care of itself as it frees us up to just BE ourselves and BE in each moment of each day....I want to be able to fully appreciate the blessings in my life which are my children, my family, the outdoors, cool breezes, sunny days, delicious food, music, playing and laughing, reading and learning, meeting new people and just expanding my horizons and enjoying the horizons I have already created! So each morning I want to start with a clean and clear mental slate and be able to take each moment as it comes and experience the joy therein....The simple things in life are almost always the most valuable and they are almost always free!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Intentions: The Undercurrents of Our Lives

With everything that we do in life there are a myriad of reasons as to why we do what we do and how we go about doing it......the way in which we speak to people, the way we treat others, the way we raise our children, the way we react with strangers, the things we say, the words we choose, the relationships we establish and maintain, and on and on and in saying this, I think that it is important to think about and examine our intentions to determine whether what we are saying and what we are doing is lining up with a positive purpose in our lives.....I can look back and see why particular doors in my life closed because my intentions in going through those doors was wrong, perhaps selfish and I do believe that rejection is protection......protecting us from others and quite possibly from ourselves....We are not always aware of our intentions but in retrospect we can see more clearly why something did not work out and it may have been that our intentions were not in line with where they should have been.....the undercurrents in our lives can sometimes move us toward better shores or they can become the undertow that drags us under....I want to make sure that I examine my intentions with my words and actions to uplift myself and others in a positive way so that the undercurrent in my life is something that if brought above the surface I have nothing to hide or feel shameful or selfish but that I have made choices with good and healthy intentions....I want to move toward sunny, blissful shores with crystal waters and sparkling sands! So with the best intentions I want to move through life creating progress and not regress.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Kicking Worry to the Curb

I know that we are to live by faith and not by fear and for me, worry is just a form of fear, it is negative and breeds stress in our lives....I am just as guilty as then next person to indulge myself in worry but I think that I have made strides to reduce this horrible indulgance! I would like to eliminate this worthless emotional wrecking ball from operating in my life all together but everything happens in increments....So I want to just kick worry to the curb for good and remember that all things will take care of themselves and that I know that if God will take care of the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, even more so will He take care of me.....This is always the scripture that comes to my mind when I feel worry trying to grip my mind and take me down like a predator takes its prey, but I don't want to go down like that anymore! God has proven to me over and over that He is in control and I only need to place my faith and trust in Him and He handles all things for my best and highest good...So I will make yet another attempt to lean on God and not on myself because clearly I am not able to change or control the universe with my worrying ways and I can only change and control the way in which I react to my own universe or circumstances and situations in my own little world.....I will replace negativity with positivity and reject negative thoughts when they try to creep in and I will kick worry to the curb!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The Simple Things in Life

Please enjoy this amazing video about the simple things in life that bring us happiness and joy!
have a beautiful, joyful day!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Creating and Maintaining Balance in Our Lives

The following article provides excellent examples on how to create and maintain healthy, positive balance in our lives! Please enjoy! This article is sourced from the following website:

The Spiritual Health Journey
Health Topics on this page
Time Out and StressHow can we get more Self belief?How do our emotions affect us? How does Anger affect our wellbeing?The Power of MeditationReligious Belief
There has been since the beginning of this century, a shift in health consciousness in the West. A growing number of people are beginning to see and treat their lives as, above all else, a spiritual journey.
These people are not particularly religious, hold down regular jobs, and probably don’t attend church, but they probably know instinctively there is something more to life.
Connecting back to nature can be a very uplifting thing to find meaning in life. There is nothing like the peace and quiet of a garden, the new leaves on a tree in spring, the sound of the sea, the sight of a carpet of bluebells in a wood.
It is also very reassuring and spiritually rejuvenating to realise that nature carries on with her cycles regardless of what we do or what is happening to us.
Making time for reflection in a garden or other kind of quiet place can help to root us in a very literal way-and for people who live in the city who may see nothing but concrete, a park or garden in some peace and quiet can provide real spiritual health and rejuvenation.
Time out is a much used phrase. We all know what it means, but not many of us take it seriously enough to make a space for it in our lives. This is a shame as you can only make real changes and progress in your inner life when you step out of ordinary life long enough to figure out where you want to go, and how you are going to get there.
By reflecting on a regular basis you will get the chance to imagine that maybe you COULD do something about what is troubling you – or maybe that you CAN follow your dreams. Sometimes it helps to look at problems in a different way by turning them on their head or looking at them from a different angle.
Time out and Stress
The most precious commodity we have now is time. It’s a fact that workers of this generation have less free time than any other time in history. The reason is the communications revolution. The speeding up of communications like emails mobile phones and faxes has given less spare time to workers – and a more unhealthy stressful working environment.
We are all very busy, on a tight schedule and stuck in more traffic jams than ever, but on the upside, our standard of living has become much better than it ever was years ago. Throughout your journey through life, stress cannot be avoided –all you need to do is change the way in which you deal with it.
Stress happens within us when our perceived demands threaten to outweigh our perceived resources. It is simply a reaction to a perceived inability to cope. I use the word perceived with an emphasis because that is a clue about the nature of stress; as no amount of rationalizing on my part will do anything - your stress is personal to you.
Stress is something that is highly subjective – what YOU may find stressful someone else will cope with, for instance. Stress can work for us or against us and we all have the power to determine the balance.
Anxiety stress before a job interview can go in one of two ways: it could motivate you into a shining performance or it could make you too nervous to show your best side. Therefore the answer is getting increased self belief in your abilities.Top of Page
How can we get more self belief?
We as a society are losing our sense of self-belief. A form of spiritual stress occurs with a lack of purpose and direction which drains our self confidence and hence our ability to cope with things. How can we increase our confidence?
Stress boils down to fear that we can’t cope with certain conditions. The stress we feel is not so much caused by the event as the feelings you’ve associated with it. When you repress feelings you may have felt at a stressful time and never work through them, they’ll eat away at you long after and cause more stress on an ongoing basis.
A classic scenario is someone who was hurt once in a relationship and refuses to get involved ever again. After a time, the problem now is not so much the breakdown of the relationship but the feelings that are associated with it.
At the end of a hard day, or before you go to sleep, give yourself a bit of space and quiet to just hear yourself deep down and re-contact the real you. Be in harmony with yourself. Through knowledge of ourselves and how we tick, and doing things that make us feel happy on a regular basis, we will all be much calmer, more healthy and able to cope.
Another very good reason to spend some time in reflection is that it does wonders for your health. Stressful situations can be managed better and this leads to a healthy mind. And a healthy mind leads to a healthy body. Our mind and body through our emotions and spiritual health are more closely linked than anyone may realise.
Whenever you feel stressed a good solution is to write things down! Get a diary or notebook and write down your feelings. Write out what you see the problem to be in a logical way and then what you can do about it.
Stress can so often be a case of making mountains out of molehills. The very essence of taming stress is to live a happier life.
Keep a focus on the big picture. Whatever happens in life, you will deal with it. You’ll adapt and prevail just like always, and problems often have a way of becoming opportunities.
If you are threatened with redundancy for instance, you may decide to do something that you’ve always wanted to do, like start a business instead of trying to find another job.
Whenever there is a big decision to be made ask yourself “Will this make me truly happy?” If you let this be your guiding light through the hard times and keep a clear procedure about how to go through life, stress will be in retreat.Top of Page
How do our emotions affect our health?
The simple act of smiling or laughing triggers the release of chemical messages that travel to the brain and promotes a sense of health and wellbeing.
Smiling also maintains harmony within oneself. Heart rate and breathing also come under the influence of our emotions. Laughter is a positive healthy and vital part of our inner lives and people who smile and laugh a lot often experience better health.
The reason for this is because the immune system is boosted by a positive and coping attitude. (And in reverse can be suppressed by stress and unhappiness). Therefore a person who is happy or elated can greatly increase the amount of NK (natural killer) cells into a healthy immune system to help fight infection.
The immune system “communicates” by hormone amd chemical messages to and from the brain. This can enhance or suppress the immune system according to a person’s mood state and are transferred by chemicals called endorphins. This “messenger service” is used by the immune system to communicate with the mind, so emotions are closely linked.
Learning how to breathe properly is a definite step to controlling stress. Many of us breathe either too much or too little. Tests show that people who have changed the way they breathe become much more at ease on a regular basis.
The correct way to breathe is long slow and deep. Picture and hear a clock pendulum and try to breathe along with it. When you inhale and exhale, let it be your stomach that expands and contracts. Do this first thing in the morning for five minutes in peace with your eyes closed.Top of page
Anger - How can it affect our health?
Anger is another emotion that affects us. There’s nothing wrong with being angry – it can be very healthy and therapeutic. What is a problem is denial about anger and this is what many people suffer from. I mean, you seem to take your life in your hands driving on the roads these days!
We need to get to the root of the problem in the first place, and expose anger for what it is – so when it affects you - you can cope with it better.
When you become angry, vengeful or say nasty things you don’t mean, you are seeing your "dark side". Recognising it when you see it is a way to diffuse anger. If you don’t, it is likely to leap out when you least expect it, jeopardizing home and work life, and stop you realizing your full potential.
When you repress anger it is like energy building up that has to find somewhere to go. The place is usually spills out onto is other people in the form that’s called “projection”. We all tend to do this as some point in our lives. Anger is born out of fear. When you understand that we tend to project our worst qualities onto others, it’s easy to see just why it’s born out of fear – because we fear our "dark side".
We’re frightened by it, but instead of facing that fear, we’d rather live in denial by putting the blame on to others. If someone’s reaction to someone else or you are over the top, remember that it takes one to know one. Were you criticized all the time when you were a child? How much of that was your parent projecting their own dark side on to you? If you think back, you’ll realise that that person was just angry!
When someone is venting their anger on you, think of the pointed finger they’re effectively pointing at you. Raise your hand now and point at someone or something – you’re pointing a finger at someone else but there are three fingers pointing back at you!
Vented anger towards you is just someone saying “Look at me!” How to deal with it? Keep this knowledge with you. Arm yourself with it at times you incur anger. Pity the other party and smile, by doing that it shows they are the weaker ones, not you.
You spiritual health is found through your emotions, positive or negative. By realising what your feelings are telling you, and understanding them for what they are -this is the route to happiness in your inner life.
If you really are going through a very difficult time in your life right now then consider counseling. This is an excellent way to get your emotional health back on track. I can really recommend this approach - it helps you come to terms with what's going on in your life and helps you to get through it. Everyone needs a helping hand in life from time to time, so don't be afraid to ask for helpTop of Page
The Power of Meditation
There’s no mystery about the powers of meditation. Some may want to dress it up in set exercises but you can take a moment of quiet reflection and look within yourself for direction and focus at any time you have a quiet moment. It gives your mind a rest from all the hustle and bustle of life and can work wonders for your overall health.
You’ve done it before at moments of leisure, but please make time for meditation, on your own, quiet, and in a pleasant environment. Everything that surrounds us has an effect on our wellbeing and is constantly sending information to our all- powerful subconscious.
We are all much more than the sum of our parts. Physicians will tell you that you are indeed surrounded by energy; but whether that energy is a negative or a positive force is up to you and your surroundings.
If you find it hard to meditate on your own, joining a Yoga class can help you physically and spiritually. The vast majority of our muscles are hardly used, so yoga is a solution to this health problem and it doesn’t matter how old you are or what physique you have. I have heard great things from other people about it even though I haven’t got round to doing it myself yet – so give it a try.
You are Special! There never has been and never will be another one of you ever again and your gifts are just as unique. Once you identify your reason for being, you will quickly realise two things: Working towards your goals, whatever they may be, reinforces the best within yourself, and you will learn a lot about what satisfaction in life really means.Top of Page

Sunday, June 8, 2008

How Positive Thinking is Healthy and Beneficial for the Mind and the Body

The following is an article I found that directly lines up with how I believe we are affected by our own thoughts and how they in turn affect our bodies..The authors are listed at the end of the article...It is an excellent read!

Positive thinking is an effective way to achieve mastery of bio-energy healing। Maintenance of a positive energy level in a healer's own bio-energy field reduces stress and emotional tension in the healer and in others। Positive emotions and feelings and a positive mental attitude can improve the quality of people's lives and heal their bodies of illnesses and stresses। On the other hand, negative emotions and feelings bring poisoning toxins to the organism. Strong negative emotions such as anger, spite, envy, jealousy, and fear make the endocrine system accumulate poisons in the blood. Anxiety, depression, and doubt can also cause poisoning of the blood. Passive and lengthy negative emotions are even more dangerous for health than active, sudden and momentary negative emotions. Negative emotions shorten the span of life. Treatment of physical symptoms with positive thoughts and statements was popularized in France a century ago, and it still has the power to overcome unwanted states (stress, tension, and unhappiness). Thoughts and feelings make up reality and add color to it. So, unhappiness brings a gray world and reality. To change a gray world and to overcome the feeling of unhappiness, anxiety, or tension, one needs to refocus the mind on positive, healing thoughts. When people predict that something is going happen to them, it is more likely to happen because negative thoughts will be reflected in their unconscious. Moreover, there could be developed psychosomatic illnesses (about 70% of all illnesses are psychosomatic, or caused by mental stress). Psychosomatic illnesses worsen when given special attention. Instead of paying direct attention to pain or illness, every time a negative thought occurs, say something like, " It will be better than I think." When a wish of any desired condition is established in the mind, somehow the unconscious mind leads the wish to realization-not magically, but through mental programming. Besides healing illnesses, positive attitudes help one to withstand troubles and problems, make correct decisions, and overcome obstacles. Do not focus on negative events; try to discover a positive perspective. For example, individuals should understand that they need to read more or think more of others in order to find ways of perfect communication. Because the thoughts of individuals are either positive or negative, they are reflected in their social or asocial behaviors. People should observe and conceive the world around them, as well as their inner worlds, with positive perceptions. Healers should have "a positive mind state" before they begin practicing bio-energy healing. Healers communicate with other people giving them energy. "Negative" energy cannot bring healing, only damage, and it is destructive for both a healer and a healee. Healing energy is "a positive" energy sent by "a positive mind."

Authors Bio,Michael Nudel and Eva Nudel, Ph।D।Energy Healing Specialists of Bio-energy System Services, Inc.Authors of how-to-do books "Health by Bio-Energy and Mind" and"21st Century's New Chakra Healing"Visit

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Mind, Body, Spirit Connection

Balance in our lives is reflected from the interior to the exterior...The battlefield of the mind is where it all begins so we must be diligent to guard our thoughts and quickly reject the negative and replace it with a positive immediately....Do not give negative thoughts a fleeting chance to take up root in your mental garden, pluck it out quickly like the weed that it is! The following quote is one of many of my favorites and the author is unknown but undoubtedly wise....
"Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions: they become your habits. Watch your habits: they become your character. Watch your character for it, WILL... become your destiny."
When the mind begins to spin, we are in control of where it goes so we must purposely set ourselves on a positive path so that our body and spirit will follow suit....Our spirit needs nourishment just like our mind and our body and it should be healthy, another quote that comes to mind here is "we are a spirit having a human experience, not a human having a spiritual experience", so in thinking about this it is our spirit that comes to and leaves this earth inhabiting a body that will eventually wither and die and I do not think of myself as being some sublimely spiritual creature but I do love God and I believe in the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ as God's Son and I think that we all as human beings try to fill that empty spiritual hole in our lives with everything except His love and forgiveness and this leads to a whole host of other ailments, problems, addictions and sicknesses both mental and physical....In saying this I believe strongly that the health or illness of one segment of our lives: mind, spirit, or body, is always interrelated and connected intricately so we must be careful about the food we feed our thoughts, our spirit, and our bodies....So I want to live with thoughtfullness and purpose and to guard my mind from negative thoughts and to feed my mind, spirit and body with healthy food and healthy thoughts...."whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy meditate on these things" Philippians chapter four, verse eight....Wishing you all happy, healthy thoughts which lead to higher roads with beautiful views!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Don't Block Your Blessings

Focus on the positive and the good in life and it keeps these things flowing into our lives...When we become negative, complain, moan and groan, we set up road blocks where nothing gets through and more negativity ensues...In this day and age where adults and children alike are constantly bombarded with the "next best thing" that needs to be purchased and consumed it is difficult if you don't center yourself and know not to be ovewhelmed by such marketing strategies to stay in a state of peace and satisfaction, of gratitude and thankfulness for the things we have in life and not always material things but the truly important things in life like love and relationships, family and all basic provisions such as food and shelter.....I try to impart to my son, who is six (my daughter is yet to young but she will get the same lessons) that we should always be thankful for what we have because not all people with whom we share this globe are afforded the same luxuries as food, shelter, clothing and certainly not air conditioning, electricity, toys etc....and so the other day when my son seemed to be dissatisfied with what he had, I sat down with him and we made a list of all the things that he is thankful for and I explained to him that when he is ever feeling dissatisfied that we will refer to his list to see how truly blessed he is for the wonderful things that he has in his life....We adults can benefit from this very same exercise so that we are always reminding ourselves how blessed we really are and how we should not act like spoiled brats or petulant children in life and realize that what we have is much more than those in other parts of our city, our country, and around the globe....and that happiness comes from within and not from external things...I want my children to learn this early in life so they are not constantly seeking for the next external stimilus in attempt to create some temporary happiness that is sure to expire when the next best thing is advertised or the buzz of other children tout some new something that is sure to bring excitement and joy when in fact it is just a constant set-up for dissapointment because the fun is not long-lasting and the price paid will not be refunded when the excitement dies....I want to find my happiness from within and be thankful and grateful for what I have and not constantly long for things that I have not.....I want to focus on the positive things in my life for myself and to set the right example for my children....Live life like people are watching! Because people are watching, both big and little whether you know it or not, but live life in a real and authentic manner doing what you feel is right for you and do it with a smile on your takes more energy to be miserable and unhappy than it does to be happy, blissful and joyful! Be thankful and be blessed!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Anger: When You Raise Your Hands You Wound the Outside, When You Raise Your Words You Wound the Inside

Anger is a very dangerous and powerful emotion that if not harnessed and controlled can destroy lives and relationships...We need to be able to have the proper tools in our emotional toolbox to be able to work on our anger and not explode on others or allow our anger to erupt on others like a volcano....The following is an e-mail that many of us may have read but it is the perfect analogy to the aftermath of anger and I think that if we become more aware of our emotions and begin to mentally reverse our thought patterns before they begin to take control of our tongue and/or our hands we can begin to create healing for ourselves and others in our lives....

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that family and friends are very rare jewels, indeed. YOU ARE MY FAMILY & FRIEND AND I AM HONORED! Please forgive me if I have ever left a 'hole' in your fence.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

When You Reach Rock Bottom, You Can Only Go UP!

Life is like a beach.....there are always waves hitting our shores....some big, some small.....and a few tsunamis....We have peaks and valleys that give us contrast and flavor in life and sometimes the flavor is not so palettable but it is always part of the bigger picture and in some way, big or small, preparing us for our future and building in us the character and experience we need to deal with the adventures, good and bad, that lie ahead as our journey unfolds before us....There are times in life that we truly hit rock bottom and we fall to our knees and we think that we cannot possibly sink any lower and then before we know it, we are prostrate on the floor, it is at this very moment when we are forced to either accept our reality and make a change or just give up and give in to depression and failure....Complain and remain or praise and be raised! I believe that when we are thankful for everything in our lives that this positions us to continue to receive.....when we complain and grumble about life and our circumstances I believe that this squelches new growth and promotion in our lives....So the positive message about hitting rock bottom is that you can only go up from here! So make the changes that need to be made, lift your head, put a smile on your face and enjoy your ride as the views will just get better on your way back to health and success! Make the choice to move forward and be thankful for the lessons we learn in life because we may not understand the purpose for those lessons at this moment in time but it is true that hindsight is twenty-twenty and when we look back we will be able to see clearly how our life's lessons fit so perfectly into the fabric of our journey and purpose in life.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Forgiveness: The Gift We Give Ourselves

I have found in life that one of the things that saps our energy, creates negative energy and keeps us in a place where we are not able to move forward is unforgiveness...I have had many unjustices in my life as I am sure we all have and many times we instinctually become offended or angered or hurt and these feelings then turn into unforgiveness...I need to always remind myself that the words and actions of others, whether they are directed at us or not, the words and actions of others is really a reflection of them and not about us at all, however, whether or not there is any truth to what they have done or said we still move into a defensive position and go through the steps of feeling offended, angered, hurt and then the result is likely unforgiveness...When we are able to truly look at "the offense" that occurred no matter how painful it may have been and see if there is a life lesson that we can gain as a result of this experience and create something positive out of a negative and possibly toxic situation then we can then move in a direction of forgiveness and give ourselves the gift of freedom...So if you are harboring unforgiveness in your life, don't allow it to poison your mind and body any longer, give yourself the gift of freedom today and forgive those that have done wrong by you...Take the high road and let it lead you to better places!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Fake It Till You Make It

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in circumstances and situations that bring about negative thoughts and negative emotions that if we entertain, we could spiral down into a depressing stupor...It is in these times when we must dig deep within ourselves to reject the appearance of our situation and the feelings that we are emoting and make a decision that we will overcome, we will succeed, we will triumph and that everything is going to work out for our own good...It is in these times that we need to be our own cheerleader and we might just need to "fake it till we make it"! When we allow fear and doubt to take over our mindsets then we are cementing our own failure....there is a better way! We may not be able to control our circumstances or other people and their actions but we can control the way in which we react to these external sources...So start feeding yourself positive messages and words of encouragement whether you believe them yet or not, you cannot drive a parked car, so just put it in drive and start moving in a positive direction and you will be surprised to see that you begin to see and feel a change in your circumstances and the people around you just by changing the way in which you perceive yourself and your environment...Put a smile on your face, reject the negative, embrace the positive and begin to envision your own success as it will gloriously unfold!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Mommy, are you famous?

The other day I was doing something on the computer (big surprise) as all my free moments (which is all you get with kids around :) I am sitting in front of this screen, which I guess makes me a "mouse potato"....Anyway, I was on my home page and my photo was there and my son walked up (he is six) and he saw my photo on the screen and he seemed to be amazed at seeing me there and his eyes grew big and he said "Mommy, are you famous?".....I was completely laughing on the inside and so I thought I would play with this for a minute so I said, yes I am honey.....he then squinted his eyes into a little glare and he said, no really Mommy, are you famous? did you put that picture up there or did somebody else take it and put it there? (because obviously he is so hip on fame and I guess he has figured out that other people take your pictures and post them up everywhere) so I said, yes babe I am....he thought about this with a dumbstruck look on his face and then he yelled, "Daddy! is Mommy really famous?", needless to say, he found out that I'm not really famous :-) Kids.....they keep us filled with laughter!

Words for the Day

Amalgamate - to unite or mix

Bombast - pompous speech

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Walking the Walk: Short-Term Rewards vs. Long-Term Gains

Starting our day the right way, every day: Daily commitments to ourselves, a positive perspective, healthy choices in our thoughts and actions are important mental steps first thing in the morning as well as throughout the day...When we are tempted to think negatively, consume unhealthy foods, speak negatively, we set ourselves up for failure and become stagnant; broaden the horizon to think of how these choices will effect the bigger picture of our lives...Mental and physical success is the culmination of many right choices that occur consecutively over a period of time....Even though we live in a drive-through society where immediate rewards seem to be the most popular choice, do these immediate rewards fit in with our long-term success strategy? In order to achieve health, happiness, success and in to reach our goals and bring them to fruition we need to be responsible for our actions and choose wisely when temptation enters our path.....Sabotaging our own efforts can sometimes be a life pattern that needs to be recognized in order to be changed, but this is an important step that is critical in order for success to happen in your life! Envision your success, what it looks like and what it feels like, be confident, change your thoughts and thereby change your actions, don't be diffident in your strategy for your life's success, it is attainable, it is achievable; remove your obstacles, or turn them into opportunities for you to stretch yourself in new directions and experience new growth in your life....Success is not esoteric!! It is there for us all, understanding yourself is the first step to creating a strategy that will work for you, there is no magic recipe but there are some common ingredients in the lives of those that have amassed success; positive thoughts equal positive actions, making healthy choices for mental and physical health, being confident, build yourself up, re-write your own hard-drive to contain programs for success, filled with files with positive affirmative statements.....You can do it! Have a blessed and successful day!

Words for the Day

Diffident - lacking self-confidence, modest

Esoteric - intended for or understood by only a few

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Refiner's Fire

We just returned from being evacuated due to the fires here in Florida..or as our six year old son put it..."we need to evaporate, hurry!"....the fire trucks and police came through telling everyone to leave immediately and the fires had reached the backs of houses on our street....We quickly gathered a few things and fled...Thankfully we had somewhere to go and we were allowed back into our neighborhood a few days later and I thank God that our homes were safe and I feel for all the families south of us that lost their homes and I can't imagine how devastating that must be for them and how they must feel...I am feeling so very grateful for our safety and that we still had a place to come home to and everything was in tact....
In life we experience fire with our circumstances whether it be through "natural causes or arsenists" the results can be equally damaging but how we react to this is the only thing we have control over...Fire is a cleanser, a destroyer, and while it is painful and wreaks havoc on everything in its path, what comes afterward is new growth, fresh greenery and changed perspectives...I would like to take this opportunity as such and cleanse my thoughts, hence, my actions, and cut out the things that are unhealthy, unneccessary and stressful...and remember that mercy and grace is new every morning and I should also give that to myself and others...Fresh starts are difficult but what we can learn from them is that we can create new beauty in our lives and broaden our horizons as a result...I hope and pray for all those that no longer have a home to return to and I wish for them that their communities will open their arms and create a safe haven for them to re-build their homes and their lives...

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Attend to Your Thoughts or They Will Attend to You

Have you ever given your attention to thought management? Like computer programs our minds are full of files that we may or may not have installed..Growing up our mental computer is written by programmers such as parents and other adults and they may or may not have been installing the most beneficial programs to help us to become healthy, successful adults..As adults, it is now our responsibility to delete the unhealthy, corrupt files and programs and remove all the mental viruses and begin to install healthy files and programs that will help us to reach our full, successful potential..We need to be thoughtful about what is going on in our mind and what messages we are playing over and over because if they are not contributing to our positive success in life then we need to delete them and install new, positive, life-giving, successful messages..We are now our own programmers and it is time to take charge of this responsibility for ourselves so that we can begin to make the choices that are going to result in our personal and professional success..Re-write your program, install the right files, create mental and physical success in your life, you are in charge!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Weight Loss and Faulty Thinking

Weight Loss and Faulty ThinkingIn the battle of the bulge, false beliefs and negative self-talk may be far greater enemies than food or sloth. PT shows you how to fight faulty thinking.
By: Dennis Brabham, Melissa Hantman, William Whitney
Page 1 of 3
Americans are highly motivated to lose weight—as a growing list of best-selling books and highly trafficked dieting Web sites attest. We're just not approaching it the right way. The pressure we put on ourselves to succeed—and the self-criticism we indulge in when we fall short of the mark—can have dire emotional and dietary repercussions.
Consider that pair of jeans hanging reproachfully in the closet. You realize they don't fit, and you feel unattractive and worthless. This tendency to evaluate yourself too harshly will only make you give up altogether. You want to head to the fridge for solace.
You need to identify the things you're telling yourself that cause you to feel discouraged and to throw in the towel. Don't beat yourself up when you overeat. Accept that you acted in a self-defeating way, then establish better methods to meet your goal. Review what you'd like to do and work toward that goal.
Perhaps you're not (yet) berating yourself for failures, but putting inordinate pressure on yourself to succeed. When you tell yourself, "I must lose 25 pounds by Valentine's Day, or I'll never get a date," you're setting yourself up for emotional turmoil, as well as weight-loss failure. Losing weight in a prescribed amount of time is a worthy goal, but the perfectionist premise that sneaks into your thinking may well interfere with sensible eating and exercise.
In a perfect universe, the sight of those jeans, or the knowledge that Valentine's Day is around the corner, would elicit rational thoughts like, "I'm going to look great soon, and I'm going to enjoy the challenge of eating sensibly and exercising along the way." But few of us think that.
PT spoke with Nando Pelusi and Mitchell Robin, clinical psychologists in New York City, about what we really tell ourselves, sabotaging our own best efforts to lose weight—or meet any goal.
· "I must be thin."
This creates desperation, which undermines a healthy long-range approach to sensible eating. Also, perfectionism pervades this thinking (I must not only be thin, but also perfect).
· "I must eat until sated."
Early humans lived in an environment in which food resources were scarce. While our ancestors had to hunt down squirrels and eat them, we can supersize a Whopper meal and skip the workout.
· "I need immediate results."
The demand for immediate improvement undermines commitment to a long-term goal. Quick fixes are hard to pass up: "This cupcake will make me feel good right now." We think, why bother eating healthfully, when the reward is far off? Dieting requires present-moment frustration and self-denial with little immediate reward.
· "I need comfort."
People eat to avoid feelings of loneliness, depression and anxiety. Fatty and sugary food provides immediate comfort and distraction from other issues. Resolving some of these problems may help you overcome poor eating habits.
· "I feel awful."
"It's terrible being heavy." For some, being overweight is the worst thing imaginable; it can immobilize you and leave you dumbstruck. That's a reaction more suited to tragedy. Weight loss is best achieved without that end-of-the-world outlook.
· "It's intolerable to stick to a diet."
"It's just too hard to diet." This thinking renders you helpless. People who are easily frustrated want easy solutions. We're seduced by fad diets because they appeal to that immediacy. Yet people who rely on fads suffer high failure rates. When you diet with the short term in mind, you don't learn strategies that require patience and persistence.
· "I am no good."
"Because I am having trouble in this one area I am worthless." Being overweight can be viewed as a sign of weakness or worthlessness, and most people aren't motivated when they feel that way. Another form of worthlessness: "My worth is dependent on my looks." This idea confuses beauty with thinness, a concept played out endlessly in the media.
Get Moving
Now that you've thrown out your irrational thinking, a little motivation is key to change. But how do you make that leap? Psychologist and marathon runner Michael Gilewski has found that the brain can achieve a state of habitual behavior through small successes—turning a once extraordinary effort into mere routine.
"Even when someone climbs Mount Everest, it's usually not his first time climbing," he points out. Perhaps motivation may simply be the product of positive reinforcement and repeated success.

Experts on Motivation
PT asked five expert motivators—including an active-duty drill sergeant and a rock-climbing instructor—how they rally everyone from first-time dieters to hard-core soldiers.
Inspiration From Within
Deborah Low is a certified weight management and lifestyle consultant in Vancouver, British Columbia.
"We have an all-or-nothing attitude: If we don't do our full hour at the gym, we may as well sit around and eat junk food. If you feel guilty and punish yourself, you may eat 10 cookies instead of 2. If you criticize yourself, you'll never change.
"Motivation is something we get from other people; but inspiration swells within us. Thinking 'I'll lose weight and then I'll be happy' is not enough. If we respect and love ourselves, independent of our weight, it's easier to make healthy choices.
"We struggle because we're fixated on the end result. We force ourselves to go to the gym, restrict food, measure and weigh ourselves. You let that number on the scale determine how your day's going to go. I ask clients to remember what it was like to play as a kid. You ran around, climbed on things—your goal was not to lose weight, it was to have fun. Being active gave you a sense of freedom, excitement and amazement. You have to reconnect with that emotion."
Being a Team Player
Chris Broadway instructs an Outward Bound outdoor classroom on Hurricane Island, off the coast of Maine.
"I set the tone of team spirit in the beginning; I teach one person a skill, and his or her responsibility is to teach everyone else. We let the students make their own mistakes. We expect students to have problems, as the activities we construct are a challenge. Discouragement can occur, but we celebrate accomplishments. Students set their own level of achievement. Some have a focus on the end result, but not everyone is results-oriented. Some want to measure success by relationships they form, by the process itself.
"Another motivating factor is how their experience here connects to their lives. We create situations where there are actual risks and perceived risks, as in sailing. We let the group navigate ahead of a storm, deciding when to pull back and when to move forward. We show them how to apply these situations to their own businesses or personal lives—calculate the risk, know when to take it or when to step back.
"It's so much more powerful when another student steps up to deliver the message of leadership. As instructors, we're always building their tool kit so they have the means to do that. With a group of 12, it's difficult to hide in the background. Even if someone's in a slump, he or she absolutely needs to fill a role."
Savor Every Mountain
John Joline is a climbing instructor at Dartmouth College.
"Certain kinds of teaching are done from below—telling people what to do but being removed from the activity. I try to teach from above—I climb with my students, participating fully in the activity. I make my enthusiasm infectious.
"Even a climb well within your physical limits—if you strive to climb it beautifully—can be challenging and rewarding. Our culture puts emphasis on goals, on absolutes. We're taught to believe competition should be ferocious. But if we lose that sense of fun, of delight, all the haranguing in the world from an instructor won't give a student lasting motivation. The bottom line is to savor the movement, the physical sensation of moving up the rock and over the stone. That itself becomes a reward compelling enough to keep one involved.
"For someone in his or her mid-30s or older, climbing is still seen as a potentially dangerous sport, daring and terrifying. It's a mental construct that can be inhibiting. Plus, for white-collar workers, running hands and fingers over rough rock could be shocking to the system."
Coming Home Alive
Billie Jo Miranda is a U.S. Army drill sergeant in Fort Jackson, South Carolina.
"The goal is being prepared for war and coming home alive. The [desire to] drop out occurs in the first few weeks. Once they learn they have a comfort zone, get along and trust people, we're pretty much over the hump. We motivate through example; we do it next to, in front of and behind them. We tailor training around the weakest soldier. It may not be beneficial for the soldier who was a college athlete, but everybody is part of a team, they push each other.
"There will be those who do the minimum. Today's youth are Nintendo children. Training requires them to get out of bed and walk an extra mile. The more rigor you put into training, the more a soldier knows what he can accomplish in combat. They shouldn't enjoy training. It should hurt physically and mentally. And they hate it. But we want them to enjoy the accomplishment.
"If you have heart, you have the motivation and the desire to get through anything. It's a patriotic thought process: What we're doing is for the betterment of America. When they say, 'I don't want to do this anymore,' just give me 10 minutes with a soldier and she'll do a 180. We use their being volunteers as a motivational tool: 'Soldier, I didn't ask you to come here. You obviously joined the military for a reason, you wanted to do something for your country.'"
Think Like a Thermostat
Peter Catina is a professor of exercise physiology at Pennsylvania State University.
"Most elite athletes are already at the top of their sport, and to reach the next level is a challenge. But it's difficult to sustain your level when you're at your pinnacle—novice or expert. Everyone must have both physical and mental discipline.
"Self-regulation is key; you can make it simple by being your own monitor. You have to think like a thermostat—be able to detect a discrepancy between the environment and your internal standard. It's the difference between your current state and where your mind and body would like to be. You can then adjust—raise your standards to meet your expectations—through strategy and action. Some of us are born with high self-regulatory skills, but I can identify clients who lack the know—how and I teach them. Awareness is the first step: noting how many calories you've consumed, how effective your exercise is, how frequently and intensely you've exercised.
"Aerobics is no longer the panacea for losing weight. It's the change in body composition that makes you look better, and for that, strength training is more effective. Don't constantly weigh yourself, since muscle weighs more than fat. Instead, measure your body mass index—or even your waist—and only once every four to six weeks. I've had many female clients gain five pounds but go down three dress sizes."

Psychology Today Magazine, Jan/Feb 2004Last Reviewed 14 Apr 2008Article ID: 3212

Friday, May 9, 2008

Take a Walk In Our Shoes: A Mother's Day Tribute

Take a Walk In Our Shoes

If you peruse our shoes
You’ll find red, white and blues
And every shape, size and color in between

We mothers fill them all
From morning till night fall
And at times without ever being seen

With all of our duties
Darling babies in booties
We are there for our family and friends

With the many shoes we wear
Every style and every pair
Our brand of reality never ends

From soft cozy slippers to sexy stilettos
From the concrete jungle to green grassy meadows
Some live in mansions and some live in ghettos

But for the caring of others we deserve our own treat
We deserve to kick off our shoes
Relax and put up our feet

Never losing our flair or missing a step
Our sanity is sacred so we have it well kept
We are always on call even if we’ve not slept

So sit on back and put on comfy socks
And slide on into some world famous Crocs
‘Cause let’s all face it….. being a Mom really rocks!

So to the precious Mother’s covering our globe
Grab a mug of hot chocolate
And put on your robe

Because we invite you to take a walk in our shoes
You’ll have everything to gain and nothing to lose
It’s a well balanced artistry with bright colored hues

And although the end is never in sight
We never give up, we fight the good fight
So, on this ending note it is time to take flight
Happy Mother’s Day to All and to all a good night!