Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Did I Sign up for THIS?!
Ever feel blindsided by someone or something that comes so far out of left field that the speed and force almost knocks you down?! Your immediate response is not a calm, relaxed, mature, intelligent or classy one but instead you just feel like spitting, kicking and screaming??!! Yeah, I have had them and it doesn't feel good....really gets you off track and it can wreck your day or your week depending on how long you let it drive you around...I am trying really hard to get back into the drivers seat and eject my feelings that are trying to emote me off the road and down into the ditch...your inner dialogue just keeps repeating, "how dare they" and "are you kidding me?!" and "what the #*@#!!!"...... I don't care how you rationalize with yourself, how educated you are, your age, how mature you are, there are times when we just feel like a baby fit is coming on and we want to stamp our feet, pull our hair,cuss and scream and let it all hang out...but then I think WHY?! I realize that none of these things are going to change the individual or the situation that has created this emotional response inside of me and only I can help myself get free from my own tangled emotions, which I sometimes HATE FEELING! How ANNOYING is it to FEEL ANNOYED?! Like a train wreck happening that you just can't stop and now you need to sift through the wreckage to make some sense of all this...I just want to be able to calmly walk away and buy a new train!! I don't think I signed up for THIS!!! Life really knows how to WOW me sometimes...and sometimes its a super sucky WOW! OK, SERENITY NOW!